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Materialism
Family
Discussion Guide
Hours
that Minors May Work in Wisconsin
(School Year)
Today's
Marketing and Advertising
Panel
of guests
Information
about the series and obtaining copies and transcripts.
Contact
WPT with any comments about this program.
Previous programs:
12/18/00
Kids and Materialism
10/30/00
Talking with Parents about Self-Injury
3/29/00
Parents and Success
in Schools
Discussion Guide
1/11/00
Raising Honorable
Children
Discussion Guide
11/15/99
Managing Emotions
Discussion
Guide
5/11/99
Fundamental assets
children need for healthy growth
Discussion
Guide
4/27/99
Setting Limits
(Discipline)
Discussion
Guide
3/23/99
Testing and Academic
Standards
Discussion Guide
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| Family Discussion Guide |
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What does your 10 year old,
who averages more than five trips to a store weekly, need to know to be
a smart consumer? Does your teenager turn a deaf ear to your advice on what
to do with her babysitting money? Are you tired of your two year old screaming
in the candy aisle until you're too embarrassed to do anything except give
in? You are not alone. Money and kids are stressful. Combined they can make
life even more stressful and difficult. It doesn't have to be that way.
There are ways to help your kids grow up and become careful and thoughtful
consumers. With help and patience from you, kids can understand the limits
of their money resource and how to use it in the marketplace. The stress
may not disappear, but can be managed so that you and your kids can enjoy
each other while learning skills in the marketplace.
How we spend our money is a personal, sensitive and controversial subject.
We often leave our kids' patterns of saving and spending to chance. Kids
don't become adults with ready made consumer behaviors. They learn the value
of money, what money buys, how to shop and what to choose by their own and
others' experiences. They learn from you and me. We strap the baby into
the car seat in the shopping cart and off we go. Kids love the action and
the view the grocery store, the post office, the bank, the ice cream store,
the toy store, and the mall. They are building a storehouse of information
as they watch adults and older kids shop and choose.
Earn, save, spend, shop, and choose. We all form habits or regular practices
to make it easier to manage our money and make purchasing decisions. Some
habits are good, others are not so good, and some are downright terrible.
Our environment encourages us to live in an earn-spend cycle. Advertisers
create fantasy pictures to delight and tempt us to consume products and
services. We are pushed to earn big dollars so we can buy more things. Things
that may or may not give satisfaction or meaning to the lives we live.
As adults we set the model for our kids. Our hope is that they learn to
make money choices that give satisfaction and are within their resources.
Before we can teach our kids effective money skills, we need to know clearly
what we want them to learn. What you want them to learn is closely tied
to who you are, what you value, and how you spend money. |
A Reader's Poll conducted by Money Magazine in 1993, shared what some
parents wanted their kids to learn. The box below gives the results.
Think about the results, how would you rank these five values? Would
you add others?
MONEY MAGAZINE POLL OCTOBER, 1993
IMPORTANT THINGS CHILDREN SHOULD LEARN ABOUT MONEY
*respondents were asked to choose the two most important
- 68% to spend responsibility
- 42% to earn it ethically
- 42% to save for future goals
- 35% to appreciate its value
- 9% to share with people in need
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The money management and marketplace
skills you set as goals for your kids will be affected by your own money
values and personality.
Two parents may have different values, spending patterns, and personalities.
It's very hard to teach kids when you send mixed messages. Know yourselves,
your strengths, and shortcomings first. If you have trouble talking about
money with your parenting partner, start with the money personality quiz.
Then talk about your money personalities, values, and marketplace skills.
Especially talk about those areas which you disagree, then try to find a
common set of values and skills that you think would be best for your kids.
Close parental communication is critical if your child is to learn positive
ways to earn and spend money. You both must give the same message to reinforce
the skills and knowledge you value. Your consistent efforts as a team will
help your kids learn balanced and useful money management patterns.
After you have set your goals for the values and skills you want your kids
to develop, share them with your kids. You might start the conversation
with, "What do you think money is good for and why?" This will give you
a benchmark on what your child is thinking. Try to avoid judgement discussion
and really concentrate on listening. This discussion will help you identify
what values have begun to take root and which you need to find new strategies
for reinforcing. When your child talks about the why..." because I saw it
on TV, because Jeremy has one, because it looks pretty, because I need one,"
try to hear the unspoken message. It may be a need to fit into a group,
they may be struggling with envy, or it may be a unique way of solving a
problem of their own. Kids have very specific and, to them, compelling needs.
They have little sense of time or postponement of satisfaction. They live
in the now. The need they will express is in the now. Part of growing up
and learning consumer skills will be learning deferment of needs, balancing
available resources like money and time, and accepting trade-offs.
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When Should I Start Teaching About Money and the Marketplace?
How old should my kids be before I begin to teach them the value of money
and what it can be used for? The first trip into a store with your child
is the beginning of their money and marketplace experiences. The bright
colors, lights, and sounds create impressions that are reinforced with
each visit. Kids are being taught from the time you communicate with them,
through your smiles and frowns, your movements, actions, and words.
According to a recent survey of 2,000 readers of Money Magazine, 66 percent
of adults would teach the importance of saving to kids ages seven and
under and 65 percent wanted to encourage children to make charitable contributions
out of their allowances and savings. Fifty-two percent said they would
start kids receiving an allowance between five and seven.
What bills should kids over the age of sixteen take major responsibility
for paying? Seventy-three percent said social expenses and gas for the
family auto.
When and what kids are able to understand is based on their own previous
experiences and physical, psychological, spiritual, and emotional development.
Some kids will be ready for an allowance at five, others not until eight.
One four year old may be able to save regularly, another seven year old
may still not understand about savings. Each child in your family will
be ready to learn different skills at different times.
If you understand some of the development and consumption stages they
are going through, it will be easier for you to decide what to teach.
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Stages of Consuming
A look at kids' developmental stages and their consuming patterns will
help answer the question "what should I teach my kids and when." Find
where your child is in the consuming stage and you will have a better
idea of what he or she needs to know. Age groupings are not definitive,
but rather broad categories.
The Five Stages In Raising A Money-Smart Kid
Here is a model program for educating your child about money based on
a consensus of the experts we consulted. The ages are approximate, depending
upon each child's maturity.
3-5 Begin discussing money. Take your children on shopping trips
to buy groceries or gifts. Talk about how you weigh choices and decide.
Give them an occasional 50 cents or $1, and ask them to pick among three
or four choices.
6-7 Introduce an allowance. Start with 50 cents or $1 a week. Don't
link the money to household chores; simply assign chores as part of your
child's family responsibility. Discuss what can be done with the money.
Give the money every week at a set time, without fail. Don't take it away
for punishment.
8-10 Give annual raises. Increase the child's allowance and responsibilities
each year on an easy-to-remember date like July 4, and provide opportunities
to earn extra money by doing additional chores. Help your child to open
a savings account and talk about what to save for.
11-14 Start to set goals. Invite your child to join you in family
budget conferences. Talk about long-range goals, such as college as a
savings incentive, match any amount that he or she contributes to a savings
account.
15-18 Push them from the nest. Help your children attain independence
by opening a checking account with an ATM card. Consider giving them a
family credit card, provided they pay their own bills. Encourage them
to get outside jobs. And include them in decisions about paying for college.
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Keeping a Lid on Kids' Wants
Keep kids' wants in perspective. Parents with school-age children
frequently express frustration with their children's growing list of wants.
If your daughter tells you that her best friend has the latest toy in
the market and she wants one too, don't read beyond the message that's
then. You may simply acknowledge that a desire was expressed. You can
tell her "Well, I'll keep that in mind in case anyone asks me about presents
for your birthday."
Make a family "wants list" and post it on the refrigerator. This
method offers something other than an improved state of mind to parents.
It's a way of telling kids that their wants have been heard and that they
are important to the family. It also teaches them that they aren't alone
in their wanting.
When shopping for school clothes, with adolescents and/or teens,
communicate to them that there is a set amount to be spent. They can be
involved in making decisions on how that money will be spent, one expensive
item or several less expensive items.
Hold a family meeting to develop rules for allowances, handouts
or gifts. Don't be accusatory or judgmental. Kids tone that out. Instead,
ask the child for solutions to overspending or wanting too much, and talk
about budgeting.
At the same time, parents may need to take stock of the ways they use
money. If parents are obsessed with brand names, buying on impulse,
or treat shopping as a positive may be setting an appropriate example.
Buying out of guilt is another way to send the wrong message about
the importance of objects. Busy parents lacking time to spend with their
children may lavish gifts to express their love and to make up for their
absence.
Children will never learn to budget if they are always bailed out.
Nor is it wise to advance allowance money, because kids will believe they
can spend money before they earn it. Far better is a parental loss, with
strict repayment terms.
Negotiation is another option. Your child wants a $100 pair of
tennis shoes. The parent is willing and able to provide $60 toward the
cost of the shoes. The child can determine if he/she wants to contribute
$40 or purchase a less expensive pair of shoes.
Some parents seem to prefer handing out money as their children need
it. This method doesn't help a child learn to plan. How much money
and when it will be available are never definite.
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Earning from Jobs Outside the Home
Working outside the home is an option that you and your teen-ager
may decide is appropriate. They pay will help supplement the youth's allowance,
provide for ever-expanding wants and perhaps provide some financial relief
to parents.
Employment also fosters an understanding of the relationship between money
and time, skills and effort. Working and earning can help enhance the
self-esteem of young people as they discover that they have abilities
for which someone is willing to pay.
Some important questions to ask your teen-ager are:
How many hours a week can the teen realistically work with no negative
effect on schoolwork or home responsibilities? Will your teen work so
many hours that he/she will take less demanding courses in school, affecting
future career possibilities?
Will the teen have time to maintain friendships and time for recreation
and rest?
How will this work restrict the activities of the rest of the family?
Because an outside job will affect the whole family, everyone needs to
have an understanding of what may be involved. Will it involve eating
at odd hours, use of the family car, someone else taking over part of
the child's family chores? What other inconveniences will be involved?
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TIPS FOR HELPING KIDS MANAGE THEIR MONEY
- Know your money values
- Talk with your kids about the purpose and value of money
- Match kids developmental behaviors to skills you want to teach
- Be alert to teachable moments
- Allow mistakes, let your child tell you what the mistake was without
you getting angry
- Show your kids how to make spending plans with monies they have
- Be consistent, two parent families must communicate with each other
- Be careful how you use money for rewards or punishments
- Set reasonable limits on allowances and spending rules
- Be honest with your child when you refuse requests for money or a
product/service
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