WPT: Parent Connection: Building Assets

Building Assests in Youth
Family discussion Guide

Every community in this country is worried about its kids and trying to do better. There is a flurry of activity absolutely everywhere. Most communities put too much energy into an approach that won't get very far. That is, we name a problem (alcohol, tobacco, violence, early sex) and then focus energy directly on that problem. It's time for a paradigm shift which focuses not on problems but on promoting the good things.

Use of language of developmental assets is a way of naming the good things -- the positive building blocks that young people need to navigate successfully through childhood and adolescence. There is a direct inverse relationship between the number of assets young people report and their risk-taking behavior. The more assets they have, the better decisions they tend to make.

The list breaks down into six basic areas: support from family, schools, and other adults; the setting of boundaries and supervision by parents; involvement in structured activities; a commitment to education; the practice of positive values; and the development of social competency skills such as assertiveness, good decision-making, and the ability to form friendships.

The message is clear. If we want to address the problems of youth, there's no better place to begin than by building assets in youth. All of us, regardless of where we live, have work to do in reforming the developmental infrastructure for our kids. We're not talking of instituting another program to fix problems, but about a long-term movement. We need to transform this culture to one where adults remember their role as elders.

How to Build Assets in Youth

Much of asset development has to do with relationships. Most of these assets are generated through repeated relationships with caring people. Part of the strength of the language shift from problems to assets is that people know how to build assets in a kid. You know how to love a kid and engage him in dialogue. You know how to look in her eyes and call her by name. You know how to remember his birthday.

You may not know how to talk to kids about alcohol, early sex, and violence, but you do know how to support, reward boundaries, articulate a value, encourage structure, and how to say "nice going, we're proud of you." We are talking about the natural caring impulses of a community to love the next generation.

Healthy Communities, Healthy Youth

The kids of our communities are a responsibility of all. Just why are assets to uniformly lacking in kids today? We believe it's because their socialization is so uniformly lacking.

The development of children is dominated by their peer group and popular culture as portrayed in the media, not by caring adults. These are the constants in their lives. And because the United States right now is probably the most age-segregated society that has ever existed in the history of human civilization, it's increasingly uncommon for our kids to have meaningful adult contact and exposure.

What is the chance that kids you know have a half dozen really caring people in their lives who spend time with them and know them across their 18 years of growing up? The majority of kids have no sustained relationship with an adult other than a parent. Bringing a sense of intergenerational relationship into a community is one of the first tasks in becoming healthier.

Everyone's an Asset Builder

It takes a village to raise a child. In part this means that people in family and school and congregation and business and neighborhood share a common vision about what matters. And so kids get consistent messages in the many spots they are in town and in their engagement with different people.

Someone mentioned recently after he had learned about asset building, "Did you know I've been driving the babysitter home for years in silence? Now I'm starting

to talk during that 10-minute drive -- about her life, what she cares about, what she's doing. All I had to do was be reminded that it matters."

That is asset-building work -- it just takes a bit of a jar to remember that those good things matter. The power of families particularly to crank it up a notch by saying, "I love you." It's about being clear about boundaries. It's about being clear in articulating values. And helping your kids develop friendship with other adults and volunteering together. It is not a matter of a great deal more time. It really is about remembering what matters.

Developed by Brown County UW-Extension Office
and Brown County Department of Human Services
University of Wisconsin, United States Department of Agriculture,
and Wisconsin Counties cooperating.

Partner
NEWIST/CESA #7