Transcript of the Program

Molly:
And if we were all like stupid Barbie then--

Becca:
Then we'd all have a husband named Ken!

3rd girl:
And a sister named skipper.

Becca:
And everybody in the store

3rd girl:
And a baby named Kelly.

Becca:
"Barbie and Ken would you please come to the front desk?" And we would all go!

S/bay girl:
I went through my phase with the alcohol and drug thing and I'm over that now. Yeah, when I went to parties and stuff, guys tried to take advantage of me. And it's like, I mean, I had enough sense in my head most of the time to like just leave the situation, you know?

(girls all talking about their hair, etc.):
When I cut my hair really short, not to be rude, but it made my face look really chubby and I really didn't like it. So did mine!

(girls singing):
Do what you gonna do do do do do, Are you gonna get up, get up, me me me me me.

Carrie:
Hi. I'm Carrieann and I'm 15.

Simone:
Hi, I'm Simone, and I'm 13 years old.

Ashley:
I'm Ashley and I'm 14.

Vanna:
I'm Vanna, and I'm 14, too.

Carrie:
The producers of this show asked us and a lot of other girls our age to take cameras like these and talk to our friends and classmates.

Vanna:
They wanted to find out what life was like in today's society for girls our age.

Simone:
Together we all recorded almost a hundred hours of interviews and conversations.

Ashley:
We hope you'll take a few minutes and listen to what we all have to say.

Nicole:
When I was ten, or eleven, um, I didn't have a lot of worries. I wasn't worried about um, losing my friends to death, to suicide, or to drugs and alcohol, or to sex. I was more concerned with um, myself, and um, maybe becoming somebody really big, when I got older. And now, it's like I'm afraid to um, be really happy because I know that um, maybe tomorrow maybe things won't be so good.


What do you think was the hardest part about going through puberty?

Alison:
What kind of question is that?

Carrie:
Most girls didn't start till like fifth or sixth grade, and I was like in fourth grade.

Ashley:
Seventh

Simone:
Eighth.

Carrie:
Yeah, and so I was like kind of embarrassed, but now, it's just like everybody at, at my age has hit puberty. Everybody has their period, everybody you know.

Vanna:
When I first experienced it, I was like, whoa, like am I the only one out there?

Vanna:
Yeah I first got my period when I was in fifth grade and I was like the first girl out of my whole school out of everybody out of all the girls to get my period and I was like really scared, I didn't tell anybody, I was like-- I didn't know what to do and when the change and all that kind of stuff like that, so.

Rebecca:
I was usually pretty calm girl but then, like, puberty hit and there it was tons of emotions flowing all the time.

Ashley:
Yeah, I used to get like really angry and sometimes I still do, and confused and feel kind of weird and gross.

Nicole:
I wasn't like uncomfortable with it. I knew what was going on and things. Um, my mom, like, was there, you know, "this is what this is for" and "this is what you have to do" and "this is how long it's gonna be," and.

Rebecca:
I was sad a lot. I would cry for no reason at all, um, then like two seconds later I would be laughing and I couldn't stop laughing.

Kaolle:
When I first got my period, it was um, it was kind of embarrassing, cause I first got it at school, and I didn't know what to do.

Ashley:
When I first like became a teenager, I always wished I was a little kid cause their life seems so much easier and not confusing or anything. But, now, I'm fine with it.

Simone:
You don't really have to take on a lot of responsibility.

Ashely:
Right. Everybody does that for you.

Christine:
The most important issue facing the young girls like my, around my age -- from like 12 to 15, something like that-- I think it'd have to be sex, sex and drugs.

Christi:
The three main issues in here are body image, substance abuse, and sexual issues.

Wendy:
I think drugs is a major issue, I think being perfect is a major issue.

Megan:
I'm really insecure about my looks and my personality because there's like other people who are really pretty and other people that have like a really nice personality and that you wanna be around, and I don't see myself like that.

Megan:
I am trying to watch my weight right now because I am a little bit heavier and I don't wanna be like that because you feel like you're an outcast and you don't- - you don't feel like anybody likes you, and you're not worthy, and you just feel left out of everything.

Abby:
I don't really like the way like the way my body is built. I've tried to like lose weight a lot, but, well, every time I just kinda go and slack off and I start eating again. And I don't have like an eating disorder, it's just I'm a whole lot like my dad. We really like the candy.

Dominique:
I don't like my body image because I feel that I'm a little overweight. I don't appreciate the size that I am. I mean, if I-- I wish I were like model size.

Keyana:
If a boy looked at you for your looks, then what, what would happen to you? What would you do? Because it's like, that is- -to me that's rude. Because if he looked at me like that, and he didn't think that I had a good personality, and all he saying and he looked at me for looks, I would just go find another fish or something in the sea.

(girls chant):
I must increase my bust. The bigger the better, the better the bigger, the boys will look at us!

Abby:
Like, I can remember when I was really young like 5 years old -- I wouldn't care, like, how big my stomach was or anything, you know,'cause you're a little kid, you just have fun. And like now, as like a teenager, you know, you kind of care more about what you look like, and no matter how thin you are almost everybody thinks they're fat.


How do you feel about your body image?

Sarah:
Um, I feel fine about my body image. Um, there's times I don't think I look good but, you know there's other days like I think I look fine. But being a teenager, ah, you take body image very seriously.

Loni:
One of my friends, I'm pretty sure she has an eating disorder. Of course she would never admit it, and we have talked to a counselor about it.

Therese:
'Cause she was struggling with bulimia. And you know for that day I wouldn't let her go to the bathroom unless I was right outside the door, because then I could hear her, you know. And she was like, "would you just get over it?" And I'm like, "no. You shouldn't be doing this to yourself. You shouldn't be doing this to your body, you'll just get weaker."

Sarah:
I heard her puking and I kind of felt really bad and for the rest of the dance I didn't know really, like, how did I talk to her anymore. and I guess that after I told her, like, it happened to me and why I quit, and I told her what can happen to you, like a whole bunch of stuff. And so she quit too and now she's, she's okay now, she's getting lots better.

Codi:
I just felt like I was worth nothing. I felt like I was huge. Um, I felt 'ike I was so fat. I used to look at people and say like "wow, I wish I could be as skinny as her. I wish I had her hair." But now it's-- I try to accept myself and catch myself when I say, "oh I wish I looked like her," I just try to say, "no. I am who I am and that's who I wanna be."

Alice:
I didn't want to be quiet anymore. I wanted to be more fun. And so over this summer I worked on getting over some of my shyness.


Do you feel you're confident enough to do about anything you want to do?

Alice:
No.

Loni:
It's having, like, a personality and people fail to realize that personality is what's gonna make up in the long run. Monique:
I like my body image. I'm not, you know, I'm not disappointed that I have this body.

Vanna:
I'm just plain me. I mean I'm like not trying to copy off anybody or trying to steal what somebody else, what somebody else has or I'm just myself.

Cecelia:
Once I get older I know I'll be somebody bigger than what I am now. So for right now, I'm just Cecilia Santiago, a Puerto Rican, and I'm still going to school.

Zohra:
I am a creation of god and I am a Muslim and I am proud of who I am and my family.

Carrieann:
I have had a hearing deficiency for a long time. And it just recently, they discovered that a hearing aid would help my, my um, problem. Um, when I first got it, I was really hush, hush about it, and didn't want anybody to know that, 'cause I thought that I mean, I don't know, I just didn't want people to know about it. And then as, I've had it for longer and longer, it's come just more, oh like I need to put in my hearing aid, or I can't hear you, hold on. I need my hearing aid. And people have been real, I mean, I've never had anybody say oh, my gosh you have a hearing aid or anything.

Inge:
Something, I think, that has really been like hard on girls our ages-- well, especially for someone like me -- is like media and stuff.

Inge:
I mean, a lot of the time, its all this skinny girls on the magazines and I mean, girls that, that are really pretty and flawless.

Ashley:
I think a lot of people get hurt by the media. Like not just people in general but mostly girls 'cause they make you think that you have to be like a certain person and make 'em feel like they are not what they should be, and.

Vanna:
And then they're like, "oh, I gotta be this way!" So they're doin' all this just to make themselves somethin' that they're not.

Carrie:
Um, I think that, that they have like all these people that everybody admires like, um, role models on TV, doing all this stuff for movies, like being paid to show these kids that drugs are okay, alcohol's okay, sex is okay.

(start of TV commercial)

TV announcer:
Next week on Beverly Hills 90210.
Teacher:
Do we have any newcomers here this morning?
Steve:
Hi, everybody. I'm Steve.
Group:
Hi, Steve.
Steve:
I'm addicted to sex.

(end of TV commercial)


Abby:
Nowadays a lot of the kids are getting less involved with activities and stuff and some of them are going like off in their own little world and they forget that things on TV are actually fake. And they wanna like make 'em come real and they're actually dangerous. And I think that's influencing a lot of people.

Nicole:
I think that there's a lot more pressure for girls to have sex, in, um, middle school and high school. Because of other people doing it, and on TV. It's like all over, all over the movies, and, I mean people that, other people look up to. Other teenagers look up to. If you see them sprawled out, you know, on a bed on TV. I mean that's your role model right there.

Vanna:
And I think the movies have a lot of affect on the kids today, because that's like all we see and we watch. And it's like we get influenced by, like if you keep on watching the same thing you're gonna wanna do what they do on the movies or TV.

(3 girls all speaking at once):
What we think about sex!

Ashley:
It's like a main topic in school. A lot of people talk about it, and there is a lot of pressure at school. Like if you have sex too many times, then you're like a bad person. As people at school say, you're a whore. And like sometimes if you don't have sex then people like just think low of you, like you can't get nobody.

Andrea:
I think some boys are pretty cute, but I wouldn't go out with them, or what they call "going out" with them, because, I don't know, I just-- maybe I'm not ready to make like a commitment to them or maybe they're not ready but I don't think I'd ever do that or at least not until eighth grade.

Caitlin:
I don't, I wouldn't like, I mean, like if you really like wanted to do something with a boy, I mean you'd have to wait. I mean I would never do something that would you know change your life forever.

Natalie:
I don't think sex is really appropriate for this age because I think you're still too young and you're still adjusting and stuff.

Wendy:
If I want to have sex, then I will. If I don't want to, then I'm just gonna say no.

Vanessa:
Like most of the time like if there was this really hot guy, you know? And I knew him pretty well, like I probably wouldn't say no.

Amber:
Guys, they go out with girls, or most of them, they go out with girls, to see how far they can get. And it's kinda like a competition between them. And they just they like, "oh, I've got far, I got so far with her and I got so far with her." And the girls, I, personally-- I don't like it.

Nicole:
My best friend from, um, a while ago, was sexually abused by her own Grandfather. And, um, she struggled with that for a long time. And I think she, um, experimented a lot with sexual activity when she was my friend. And I think she didn't really care what the guys would do to her because, um, of what she experienced before.

Natalie:
I'm not saying to myself, I'm not promising myself to wait until I'm married I think just I'm gonna wait until personally I'm ready and I believe that if I were to get pregnant that that person would actually pay for the child and I'd be able to take care of the child myself also. As you get older you will like take on a lot more responsibility.


What is your biggest fear?

Mindy:
Not being able to get out on my own and financially support me and the baby.

Holly:
I have a 15 year old friend who is due anytime. And, um, she's going through a lot right now and it's really hard on everybody because we have to be there for her. And I don't think she realizes just how much it's taking out of everybody else.

Leah:
If you like are in love, and you think it's like a good thing, I think that you should do it, but you should use protection anytime you have sex, and there is always a chance of getting disease, but there's always that you won't get it either?

Leah:
Never mind, because I did not know what I was saying.

Abby:
It's hard for me to say right now I mean I'm only 14, I don't know what the future's gonna bring but I can't picture myself having sex with someone at such a young age.

Carrie:
A boundary is where you decide if the guy is gonna respect you or not, because if he crosses the boundary after he knows where it is, you know, if you tell him that and he crosses, then you know he doesn't respect your decisions, and what you want.

Simone:
And to think about it, you need to tell them before, before. So you can't say well, you did this, well, you didn't tell me nothing. So, I mean, so, if you're gonna do it, at least let them know, what you want before-- not what you want, but how you, how you take things.

Therese:
There are a lot of things that I won't put up with. Um, I don't like being called you a "kike," that type of thing. Well you know if they keep just calling me that I'll just go and flip them off just because of the fact that that's not appropriate. They don't do it to Michael, they don't do it to Lewis, they don't do it to Heim-- they don't dare do it to Heim. But, you know, they dare do it to me. And whenever they do it to me and they keep on doing it, I just flip them off and I go, "shut up" to them because, you know I try being polite and then when they're not polite, when they have no courtesy left, then you know I'm just not gonna take it.

Ashley:
Like these one guys asked me if I would have sex before I'm married, and I said "no way, I don't believe in that," and they made fun of me and taunted me about that and everything.

Carrie:
I think sexual harassment is anything that, um, someone does and you tell them not to--

Simone:
Or--

Carrie:
--sexually, well, touching you or sayings, or I mean, sexual harassment is now considered saying stuff to you, and--

Simone:
If you touch anyone where it's inappropriate and some person is telling you directly in your face -- no smiles, no giggling -- stop, then you need to stop and if you can't take stop, then you have a problem and you need to get it fixed before you end up in jail.

Vanna:
Also, I notice like with the teachers, like- okay, say like it's going on and they like see it, they don't know whether to say something or not, 'cause they don't know if it's for like, you know--

Ashely:
--playing

Vanna:
Just for just for playing.

Ashley:
I think a lot of teachers ignore and try to pretend it's not there cause they don't think it's all that important.

Carrie:
And when we were talking to a lot of girls, a lot of girls in the middle schools is really where we focused on, and said that it is everywhere and.

Vanna:
It is, it is.

Carrie:
And it really is.

Natalie:
In the 8th grade a lot of guys sexually harass girls, but the girls lead them on so I don't think it's a problem.

In what way do they sexually harass the girls?

Natalie:
They'll like tickle their sides or make dirty comments to them and they just giggle about it and they'll complain, the girls will complain to like the principal or the teacher, and the teachers can't do anything about it because they never asked them to stop so it's not sexual harassment.

Have you ever had to deal with that?

Natalie:
Yeah. I just basically tell them stop and if they don't I tell somebody.

Do they stop?

Natalie:
Yeah.

Alissa:
I don't like it the way some girls, you know, like every time, you know, just like threaten a boy. They're like, "oh, if you touch me I'm gonna see-- or I'm gonna get you nailed for sexual harassment." I don't like it when guys do that or when girls do that to guys, you know, 'cause really, I mean, some girls take advantage of it.

Adie:
Right. I don't think it's too fair to the guy either, 'cause a girl could come up to the guy and start touching him and what are they gonna do? Sound like a wimp?

Amber:
Well I've been sexually harassed, and it is not fun. I mean like what the person did is they like snapped by bra and they like slapped my butt and everything.

Amber:
And it was not fun. That kid had to go to the police and everything and I was out of class like everyday trying to talk to like the counselors and everything along with two other girls.

Caitlin:
Yeah. Like such things as sexual harassment. You do not want that to happen. I am the master man I know this stuff.

Sarah:
I know.

Caitline:
I am like dead straight about this stuff. Anybody does anything to you I swear--

Andrea:
It's more commonly happened on the bus because you talk more.

Caitlin:
That is where it happened to me.

Caitlin:
That was my mistake -- of not doing anything about it. And if anybody ever does it to me again, I mean -- they're goin' down! I'm not taking any chances on something like that.

Andrea:
I don't think a girl goes any day without being sexually harassed.

Ashley:
I mean, it makes you a little uncomfortable if they come up and pinch your side, or touch you somewhere. And you need to tell the guys to knock it off or else they're gonna keep doing it. And a lot of the girls that get it the most don't tell them to quit. And so, I don't think they really have the right to complain unless they tell them to quit and they still don't quit.

Rhonda:
I love boys, like-- I mean, I have two brothers that are boys, and so I mean like boys are, you know, they're humans just like us.

Rhonda:
I don't really judge a lot of boys, but I can tell you that there is some boys in our school that are, like, immature. And I mean, like, you can't really talk to them 'cause they're like kind of silly in the head and all? I mean, but I have a lot of friends that are boys.

Angela:
Always when I liked a guy or something I'll be like I can talk to them okay. I mean I'll be nervous, you know, but when we're not going out, it's just fine. And but then I'll go out with them and I'll just be like "yes. Ah, look! Mashed potatoes."

Therese:
I'm not used to not being able to play football as much 'cause the guys are like afraid to touch me in the wrong spot.

Simone:
Once in a while you might see them have like a million dollar smile or, oh, they think they'll like you but you really don't like them, you'd rather be friends with them and then you'd just as soon get to know them as you get older.

Ashley:
Now they're changing, because you used to know them as someone else. But their personalities are just changing, and like some of them could be real dorks and really immature. But now they're older, and in middle school, they're changing. And you get to know them as different people.

Kristina:
Some of them will actually talk to you.

Sarah:
I need guys in my life and if I don't, I like go crazy.

Carrie:
When I had a boyfriend, um I was never really around. I was always with him, and we won't go there. There's not enough time nor is there a hour in the day for him, but, um.

Ashley:
He was-- him and I didn't, I mean, we didn't fight or anything, we just I Don't know.

Carrie:
Well they never really talked.

Ashley:
Right. I hardly knew him. He was kind of cocky when I knew him so he didn't make a real good first impression. So I wanted her out of that relationship, which she is now.

Noelle:
Guys are fun to have as friends, too, because it's like just a different style of friends

Jessica:
I like guys too much, okay? If I was a guy I'd go after guys.

Erin:
I don't like boys, period. Some of 'em are nice, I hang around with some of 'em, they're nice, but I don't think I'd want to date one. They're like, they're boys!

Zohra:
My friends, they're like basically girls and I have one good boy friend, but he's not like a "boyfriend," he's just like a friend, okay? Anyway, they um, they're my friends because I can trust 'em, and we have a lot of good times together. Do you think looks are important in getting friends?

Breanna:
To me they aren't, but to like a lot of people they are. They basically judge people on the way they look.

Keyana:
Sometimes it's kind of hard to fit in with other girls because it's, like, if they are like in this own little group, and if like they, they are like the most popular kids in school, it's kind of hard because, you know -- you want to be like with them, you want to be like the popular kids.

Ashley:
I don't know if I have a problem fitting in, but I always feel like I do. Last year at school, I, I thought nobody liked me, and I thought I was stupid and ugly, and everything and-- they all thought I was stuck up last year, that's why they didn't hang out with me. They thought I wasn't hanging out with them because I was stuck up, but really I just thought they hated me. This year I was a lot friendlier to everybody, and I have a big group of friends that I hang out with every day, and I'm a lot happier, and I don't dread school that much. I don't like it, but it's not so bad anymore.

Sarah:
The popular people at our school-- I don't know if it's like this with other schools, but a lot of them are people that everybody's kind of afraid of.

Becca:
Yeah or just don't even like, because they're like either jealous of, or they're really mean or--

Anna:
We hate 'em because they think they're popular.

Sarah:
Well personally, I--

Anna:
Actually, no listen, listen, listen. Okay. We hate 'em because they know they're popular and then they think that they're cool.

Becca:
But they're not.

Anna:
Yeah, and so they try to like take over everyone.

Becca:
But they can't and--

Anna:
It's blinking.

Becca:
Tape, new tape!

Josie:
What I don't really like about eighth grade is how everybody comes to us saying we're snobs, and that and that because, supposedly, we have a popularity and I think we're just like, we're just like we're just like everybody else. I mean, yeah, maybe we hang out with guys--

Heather:
With a popular group of guys.

Josie:
Yeah, but it's like we do almost everything they do and, I mean, we don't drink, we don't smoke, we get good grades in school and so does everybody else.

Terin:
I guess I fear rejection a lot. I'm like afraid that nobody's gonna like me, and like people are gonna just like cut down my self esteem, and self worth. How do you feel about that?

Terin:
I think that they reject me a lot. I don't think I'm good enough for a lot of people.

Loni:
I found out that I was basically a person who isn't really influenced by other people who kind of wants to be the leader and wants to stand out in the crowd and doesn't exactly want to fit in all the time

Sandy:
I think that looks are important when getting friends because like people will choose you by it. But once you found like real friends they really don't care.

Valarie:
If someone doesn't like how you look, so they don't like you, then they wouldn't really be a good friend if that's the only reason that they like you.

Ashley:
If I'm in a group with like a whole bunch of white people, I kinda feel lonely and left out 'cause I'm the only colored person. And sometimes I don't know, like sometimes being mixed with black and white makes me kinda feel depressed because most people like, like black people, say I'm proper and I'm a wanna-be white girl, stuff like that. And like for white people they'll say I'm trying to be black and stuff like that. So it's kinda hard for me sometimes in between cultures.

Nou:
It doesn't matter what people say about me and or my culture. I just like being Asian. Well people call me Chinese, but I'm not Chinese. My culture is Hmong. And they like really mistake us and then call us Chinese and do all these mean things and stuff. But no matter what they say, I still have Asian blood. I can't change anything about that, I'm still Asian.


Simone:
Right now I'm reading a book called um, "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul." I like that book because it shows a lot of things that happen in middle school right now. It shows what's going on and how they dealt with it, and sometimes you might be going through that and you could read it just to understand it.

Rachael:
I have a lot of friends, but out of all my friends my mom's my best friend. I tell her most everything.


The Brady Bunch!


Andrea:
I don't think you want to hear us singing.

Carrieann:
My mom and I we can tell each other anything

Kaolee:
Mostly from my mom.

Nicole:
I would have to say my mom understands me the most.

Vanna:
Um, me and my mom, we're like really close and everything. I feel comfortable telling her stuff.

Nicole:
My mom means the world to me.

Nicole:
My dad and I aren't as close. Why do you feel like you're not close with your dad?

Nicole:
I just feel sometimes he doesn't understand me as a person an doesn't really see me for who I am sometimes. How does that make you feel?

Nicole:
A little depressed, kind of, sometimes. Because I want both my parents to understand me and love me for who I am, and, um, be able to talk to me without judging me.

Michaela:
I'm no where near as close to my mom as I am to my dad. I get along with my dad really, really good. We are just so close. Like ever since I was little we did everything together. It's the best. It's nice to know that there's someone that will, like he'll do anything he can to get me whatever I need.

Sarah:
Me and my dad, my dad well, my dad was like my best friend. I could tell him anything, but I can't anymore because he's never home. And if he's home, me and him are fighting, so I can't really talk to him about anything so I like gotta keep my problems into myself. I can't tell anybody.

Carrieann:
My dad-- it's great! I love my dad to death. Um, it's definitely different because, um, I can't really-- he doesn't- - he can't, like, relate to what I have to say, but I think he appreciates what I have to say.

Vanna:
My family, there is 6 of us all together. I have an older sister and I have an older brother and I have a middle sister and then me. You have a problem and you feel like you can't go to your friends or anybody else, and like you know you have a good relationship with your parents, then you can go to them and they can help you out 'cause they been there, they done that.

Kim:
There's no one really I can talk to because my mom, I can't relate to her. My dad, he barely even talks, and I mean I guess you can say, I don't have the best family life, but I have it better than a lot of people.

Ashley:
My relationship with my parents is a lot better than most kids. I talk to my mom like at least a 15 minute conversation just about everyday, and I tell her everything. And a lot of kids think that's really weird that I tell her so much. And my relationship with my dad is a little different because he doesn't live with us, but I still talk to him quite a bit and I share with him quite a bit.

Sarah:
I used to be really close with my family but it's like ever since I've turned 14 it's like I don't need them anymore, that's what it seems like they're telling me. But the truth is I think I need them.

Simone:
I'm raised by my mom. Um, she had me at a very young age. And she didn't-- thank god my Grandmother was there, because my mom would probably-I probably wouldn't be with my mom right now. And my mom has worked really hard. She had got her degree, she finally got her um, degree, she's working on her masters now.

Ashley:
I really never had a childhood. Since like my fifth birthday. I was, cause I was the oldest. I had to take care of my brothers. And now that I live with my aunt and she has six other kids, I got to take care of them all the time. I'm tired of hearing "you're the role model, you got do this, and you got to do that, and you can't goof off."

Rebecca:
The year I turned 13 I got this basket from my Aunt Kay and it came in a little box and she gave it to me and she said this to hold all your hopes and dreams and I wear my basket pretty much every day because it just reminds me how important my family is to be because my family has always been there. Like friends come and go but your family is gonna be there no matter what.

Megan:
My parents? I guess they have influence on my life, but I don't want to admit it because they're my parents.

Josie:
My mom and dad have gotten a divorce when I was in sixth grade and it was my dad had left us. First of all we thought it would be cool living in two different houses and like having like-- getting more presents at Christmas, but as it like got further away, it's really like I asked myself, "why did this happen?" And you feel-- I felt like some of it was my fault, and I know it wasn't, but it was like hard. I mean, it's been three years, but I still don't-- can't believe what my dad did.

Angie:
I'd say like half my friends, their parents are divorced. And, I don't know, it's not a major thing that we talk about a lot. Like if I say I'm gonna call somebody, you know, then you almost always ask "are you at your mom's or your dad's?"

Ashley:
My parents are divorced and I like to call it a very clean divorce because they still get along and communicate fine.

Vanna:
My parents are both together, but, I mean, I know a friend where her parents had a divorce and she was like really down and out. She was always like over at her dad's. She didn't care for her mom 'cause her mom was kind of careless of herself. But, I mean, at least her parents kind of tried to get along for the sake of her, which was good.

Angie:
It's a different style I guess of living with, having like, two parents and two sides. And, um, but my parents get along real well, which is really nice because, um, I know, my tep-dad and his ex-wife don't get along real well.

Ashley:
My dad got remarried, um, I'm ot sure how long ago, I think it was like six years ago and the lady he was going to marry and me and my sister got along very well, before they got married. And once they got married, we had our little fights, and everything, but we get along pretty well now. It's still hard sometimes to get used to new family members, but it's getting easier.

Angie:
I probably wouldn't want ever my parents to get back together. I used to think that, but not anymore 'cause I know that it would probably never work out.

Katie:
My parents got divorced, and my dad lives on the other side of the world and I don't get to see him. And my mom remarried and I have anew little brother now. And, um, I really didn't like my step-dad for a long time because I felt like he was trying to be my dad, and I didn't want a new dad, I wanted my old dad. And now my mom wants to get a divorce again just when I'm starting to-- just when I'm starting to get close to my step-dad, and I just want them to get better.

Therese:
My dad's gonna be getting remarried soon and you know I don't like his fiancee right now, but I have to give her a chance. I have not given her a chance. And, you know, I realized just last night actually I needed to give her a chance.

Carrie:
Like video games are really bad and people say that it doesn't affect 'em but if you think of the fact that after you've played the game so many times it's not at fun it's not even scary anymore and so you've come immune to the violence.

Carrie:
And that's what people are doing is they come immune to watching this and knowing this--

Ashley:
And so they become immune to doing it--

Carrie:
Right, and so it's not, it's not the, the horror of the whole concept is not there anymore.

Zohra:
Violence is everywhere. I mean there's certain times at school when people get in a fight or whatever, but I'm never usually part of that. And, um, in my community I see violence, but it's not done to me, so I don't do anything about it.

Vanna:
I know like two people that have got shot before and they're my friends, and they-- it was around their neighborhood, or either they like were at a club or a party or somethin', and like shooting occurred and they just happened to get shot.

Carrie:
My friend Lindsay Cross was murdered last year, around um, August. It was right before school started. She was missing for three days before they found her. We were, we weren't like the best of friends, but we were pretty close. We had quite a few classes together, and we walked halls together. And, we went to a few football games together and she hung out with me when I first moved to this school. I think my friends were the ones that could really um, help me because they were, they knew what I was going through. They knew her, and she was a really good person.

Nou:
Sometimes there's drug people driving by. And there's like old people, like you don't know who they are. They just come up asking you for money. Sometimes I feel sorry for them so I give 'em money.

Marsha:
Last year everybody practically new what happened to my family when my step-dad, um, stabbed my mom.

Marsha:
She got it twice in the arm and two in the chest. Everything right now is scary for her and our family and because of all this happening plus like bad dreams and bad memories of it.

Michaela:
When I was at the bus stop someone named mike was there and he decided that he would take me back to his house and when we got there he raped me. And when I walk like down the street, just like in public or whatever, it just feels like everyone knows what happened and everyone else is like, I don't know, like looks down on you. The biggest thing is that you just you gotta be strong. I mean if you don't say anything then you're just letting them win. You're just letting whoever raped you just totally take over. I mean sure they might have got what they wanted, but you know, you have to at least see that they're like punished for it or whatever. because if you don't say anything the next time they do it to someone else, it's gonna be in some way your fault.

Vanna:
And at school it's like, like a lot of girls and some guys, too, like where they get into like arguments over stupid stuff and it's like a lot of fightin' and talkin' back and all this stuff.


Do you guys experience very much violence in schools?

Rebecca:
Um, sometimes. Like not personally to me, but like around other people.

Mara:
Not really like big violence. It's just a lot of, um, like hitting and pushing and stuff like that.

Nicole:
There's a lot of girls who, who like to fight now. In middle school and in high school I've had experiences with like my friends fighting other people-- my friends.

Rebecca:
And then when it did happen to me it, it taught me a lot. Me being beat up taught me a lot about myself. Knowing to think before I speak because people aren't always gonna care about what I have to say.

Simone:
You might've had a boyfriend that really cared about you, but you didn't like him that much anymore. And then they might come after you 'cause you're talking to another dude. And they might beat up on the dude, or beat up on you. And they might bring something to school 'cause we don't have any metal detectors so anybody could practically bring anythin in.

Samantha:
If we start teaching our kids that like, there's nothing to do with equality, then like, then like our kids are gonna grow up to think that there's only men in this world and women are supposed to be cleaning houses. If we don't teach our generation, to have equality, how is the next generation gonna have equality?

Nou yang:
The reason why I'm scared to come to school is 'cause I just think that if I do something wrong to somebody, and they're popular, or something, and they're gonna get the whole school against me or they're gonna like say bad things and probably ruin my reputation.

Ashley:
I think people are really, really cruel to other people, most people, anyway. I think it's horrible that they talk behind their back and are so mean to everybody. They didn't used to be.

Zohra:
I don't like gossip because it just screws up things and you don't know what's true and what's not. It's just like playing a telephone game. It gets passed on and on, and things change, and he said, or she said, you know. It's all messed up and you don't know what to believe. So I just never bother listening to it.

Michaela:
Ummm, there's a lot more pressures now. You have to worry about what other people think about you and, you know, just if your accepted by everyone, I guess.


Is there a lot of peer pressure like with drugs and smoking?

Christine:
Yeah.

Krystal:
Oh yeah.

Christine:
Like a lot.


And illegal drugs, do you feel pressured into?

Ashley:
Ummm, if I really wanted to I bet I could get 'em, but I don't wanna to.

Alexandra:
I have tried smoking, I've never told anybody that before but I have tried it. I don't like it 'cause I got sick.

What made you try it?

Alexandria:
Well it was peer pressure from another friend.


And you stopped because you just didn't like it?

Alexandria:
Yes.

Sierra:
I do smoke, and I know a lot of people smoke. But, I have tried marijuana, and I've tried drinking and nothing else besides that. But, I just think it's ridiculous, because kids out age, thirteen, fourteen, are already smoking.

Nicole:
Ummm, a group of my friends that I hung out with at one point did get into that and I felt very uncomfortable with that and I ended up completely not hanging out with them anymore because I didn't want to be around that. I think because my dad smokes and it is not something that I like and it drives me crazy because I hate the smell and I think it's disgusting and I have a history of alcoholism in my family and it's not something that I want to take any chances on. Are you pressured into doing alcohol? Drinking?

Leah:
Well, people have offered me. But mainly I've done it, like, by choice if I have done it.

Krystal:
I think there's a lot of peer pressure. There's, um, peer pressure to drink, smoke, do drugs, just skip class, you know, to-- sometimes it's peer pressure and you don't even notice.

Amy:
I think I have a lot of pressures from sports. Like playing-- I play three sports-- and at the same time I'm getting pressures from my coaches to do better.

Do you ever feel peer pressure at school?

Caroline:
No.

Jennifer:
I have tried drinking. I have tried marijuana. I have never tried heroin or coke 'cause I don't like needles.

Natalie:
I met a friend last year in seventh grade and I smoked pot and I drank because I thought that I'd be accepted by older people and people would think I was cool and it was just all fake and I stopped and now I have more friends and lot more self-confidence.

Angie:
I'm not gonna make it, like, a habit of mine to go and smoke weed or something like that. I ust want to try it and just see what it's like.

Loni:
Like I know some of the like preppiest people in the world who get drunk every Friday night and then some of maybe, like um, the people who aren't so respected, who don't do any of that stuff. So basically it's a wide range of people who do drugs and alcohol.

Abby:
I'm alcohol-free, sex-free, drug-free and smoke-free.

Krystal:
I used to go with my sister to a friend's house even though I knew they were gonna do that kind of stuff there. And they just they were tokin' it up and shit-- stuff, they're tokin' it, and, um, and they asked me if I wanted some, and I said yes 'cause I did, but then I just-- I just should avoid them situations and I'm gonna stop.

Carrieann:
Well, see I was at a party and I had stuff to drink and obviously I'm underage, and they videotaped me which was kind of the best thing that they could've done, because I looked so dumb. And the next morning when I didn't have the alcohol in my system I watched it and I was so embarrassed at what I did. And I could not image me looking-- I looked like a fool, I really did. And so I really can't see myself, um, drinking again. And it's really nasty.

Krystal:
I made a list of good things and bad things, and I couldn't come up with any good things except for the fact that you, like, don't care. When you're high, you don't care. And there's things that you don't wanna care about.

Krystal:
And then there's things you don't wanna care about, don't wanna care about, don't wanna care about.

Megan:
You don't feel like anybody likes you and you're not worthy.

Megan:
I'm really insecure.

Therese:
She was struggling with bulimia.

Michaela:
And when we got there he raped me.

Erin:
There's really no one I can talk to.

Amber:
Well I've been sexually harassed

Dominique:
I was really good at my grades. I had really high grades when I was younger, and then as I got into middle school I started going low in grades because I started getting lazy and I stopped doing my homework. Now I fear that I have no future.

Ashley:
I look at people differently now and I feel things differently. I don't know really how to explain it, I just look at the world differently then I did when I was little. I realize it's not such a great-- it's not so perfect as I used to think it was.


Do adults generally value your opinion?

Angela:
No, I don't think they do.

Megan:
No, because they still think we're kids and that we don't have opinions or feelings.

Dominique:
Most of them do listen but some of them just don't care. They act like they're listening, but they're just not listening.

Sandy:
No, they pretty much tell me exactly what to do and when to do it and could care less about what I think usually.

Krystal:
And then there's things you don't wanna care about, don't wanna care about.

Molly:
I don't know if, like, anybody knows, but um, I was diagnosed with clinical depression like a year and a half ago, and I'm like on medicine and stuff so everything's like better, but still like there.

Becca:
So what do you think caused that?

Molly:
Um, it's mostly my family, and I don't know. my family is all screwed up. I don't like my family. Well, I do. I love my family. But I don't like, like, my situation.

Aaryn:
I get depressed like if you get bad grades or people aren't treating you nice that you think are your friends. Like all of a sudden you think they're your friend and then they turn their back on you and then it's like you, you lost everybody you counted on.


Then how do you release feelings of--

Mara:
Um I believe it or not I talk to myself when I'm alone. That's how I kind of figure out stuff, like if I'm doing a big project. That's how I figure out a lot of stuff. Um, punch a bag, or scream, jump rope - something like that. Something to just get all my energy out.

Rebecca:
Talk to our pets.

Mara:
Yeah. Talk to my pets.

Jessica:
Yes I have been depressed. I've been so depressed--

Nicole:
So have I.

Jessica:
I tried to kill myself three times.

Nicole:
I've never tried to kill myself.

Jessica:
This spider tattoo is kinda blockin' two of my scars.

Codi:
I was physically abused once. When I was littler my mom had a friend that stayed with us and she physically and verbally abused me and my little brother.

Nicole:
My friends who were sexually abused have a very hard time dealing with that. Um, they really don't know who they are, and they, um, most of them are depressed, and kind of looking for a way out. And, um, I know some of them who are even suicidal because of it.

Carrieann:
I don't think I've ever been depressed. I've been stressed to the limits, I guess you could say, where you just don't know which direction to turn: up, down, left, right whatever. And you just kind of break down and cry and you get your stuff together and go on.

Rebecca:
All she talks to me about is that how she wants to commit suicide and that's all. She said that in this world nobody seems to care about her. But I do, and it hurts to know that someone you care is trying to commit suicide.

Ashley:
The hardest decisions I have to make, is whether I want to stay alive, or if I want to commit suicide, or not be here anymore.

Danielle:
Right now I don't think I have that many problems where I could go and commit suicide, but, I guess you never know. Something might happen where you'd feel you couldn't go on, but I think I'd get help.

Tiffany:
I think that there are people that you can really talk to like mentors or like friends or anybody. If you feel depressed or anything you can go talk to them about, just about anything.

Amber:
I would never want to think of suicide. All good things can happen if you make them happen.

Monique:
I want to get a degree and I want to get a good job.

Ashley:
I want to be on TV when I grow up.

Alysha:
You need good grades to get into college.

Nou:
I want to be a pediatrician.

Zohra:
Either I want to be a doctor or go into marketing.

Mara:
Getting good grades means you can go to a good school, a good college.

Therese:
I want to become an interpreter.

Vanna:
I want to be a meteorologist.

Carrieann:
I feel that getting good grades is really important.

Molly:
I would, of course, love to go to college.

Cecellia:
I'd like to be a social worker.

Carrie:
I believe that, um, in order to, um, not fall into the traps of some of the, the, um, difficulties in, in growing up, I think you have to be true to yourself and know where you're headed.

Keyana:
I'm my own self, so there's like no one who would bring me down or let me down in any kind of way, because I won't let them.

Ashley:
Well, a lot of the stuff that people want to change, you can't do anything about and you have to learn to just accept things how they are, and move on.

Angie:
I don't think that it's all that hard to be like a teenage girl. Um, there's lots of things happening, but you just kind of learn to deal with it.

Vanna:
Don't let people discourage you like in what, like what your dreams are. 'Cause that's a real big thing, like people put you down for what you believe in, and what you want to do.

Nicole:
Maybe I'm young and maybe I'm a girl, but I can do anything I want to do.

Simone:
Right now you're probably in a cocoon now because we are like we're closing out certain things. We have to learn that--

Ashley:
Hiding some of who we are--

Simone:
Yeah, we're learning new things, so we're like taking it all in so when we get older and go to head off to college or whatever

Valerie:
I don't feel like I'm a misfit and I feel like now I can be who I wanna be and people know me for me instead of how they expect me to be.

Ashley:
Yeah, it's kind of weird. Because we're like the opposite of butterflies. They start out as the worm and go into the cocoon and then become something better. And we're like-- they've become free and we're free when we were little and then probably more closed off when we get older.

Loni:
Well I still have the desire to always want to have fun. It's always gonna be there, but, um, I think I'm doing a good job of finding other ways to have fun rather then drinking and doing drugs.

Vanna:
You're the butterfly and you're, like, more than a butterfly 'cause you're on your own, you know a little bit more than what you did when you were a little baby. And your moms are there, but they're not as much there as you whenever you were younger. So you're beyond-- like more than a butterfly.

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Beyond the Butterfly is co-produced by Wisconsin Public Television and NEWIST/CESA #7 (Northeastern Wisconsin In-School Telecommunications)